Warning: You've missed 90% of what I'm saying!

Statistics show that recipients misinterpret emails 90% of the time. That's absolutely horrifying! Emails are the most common form of business communications today. If 90% of what you send is not taken as you intended it, and 90% of what you read is not as the sender intended it, there are huge margins for interpersonal upset.

That upset in turn can lead to lost friendships, lost opportunities and lost business.

So what's an email dependent person to do? Here are a few hints to help make your emails e-mazing!

1. Keep your sentences to 11 words or less. Statistics (where do I get this stuff?) show that even college grads have difficulty with sentences longer than 11 words. English majors like yours truly are the exception. (OK, I made that part about the English majors up, but it sounds reasonable, doesn't it?) So keeping sentences short may help understanding. (After all, when was the last time you read a Victorian novel voluntarily?)
   
2. Keeping your message short can help, too. Maybe. The popular culture is training us to have short attention spans and to think in little bits. Short messages may help those with short attention spans.
   
3. Or not. Brevity may not always be your ally. You may need extra words to convey a nuance or emphasize the core point. If you need it, use it, but remember your recipient may be from the sound-bite generation. And you may be trying to convey TMI-Too Much Information.
   
4. Write it then reread it. Does it make sense to you on a second read? Can you think of a better way to say it? If so, edit. Just because your fingers typed the words doesn't mean they deserve to see the light of day. James Michener once said he was not a great writer; he maintained he was a great editor. Follow Michener's cue.
   
5. Still not sure if your message is clear? Send it to a coworker. Ask her to read what you've written. Then ask her what you said. If she got your message, send it. If she has questions about what you were saying, go back to point #4.
   
6. Simplify your presentation. I do NOT mean "dumb it down." I mean simplify. Cut out extraneous words. Shorten sentences. Break up paragraphs.
   
7. Be aware of high-risk factors. You take extra risks when you use humor (ask me-I'll give you a dozen stories!), slang (regional, professional, generational), unfamiliar multi-syllabic vocabulary (don't be showboating!), and foreign words.

OK. You've done everything right, but you still want to be sure the intent of your message was received. How can you be absolutely sure that what you're saying is crystal clear? 

I know this sounds like business practices from the Dark Ages, but the absolutely best proof that someone received your message correctly is to pick up the phone and call him. 

Take-away:

Did you like this article? Did you learn something? Send me an email! Ellen@PaulandPartners.net. Tell me about it. 

   

In case you were wondering...

If neither rain nor snow nor dead of night can stop the US Post Office, now we can add a new non-stopper: Congress.

This is the same Congress that has handicapped the post office with massive early retirement payments...the same Congress that is up in arms about the huge deficit that the USPS is running...the same Congress that is insisting that the Post Office get its house in order. Or else.

And yes, it is the same august body that is unwilling to accept the post office's Hail Mary plans to trim delivery to 5 days a week, close underutilized facilities, and lay off (or grant early retirement to) thousands of postal workers to help curb the gaping deficit.

What made Congress change its tune?

When Congress wasn't arguing amongst itself about national debt ceilings, recess appointments, and photos of peers proudly preening in their underwear...

When Congress actually stopped its chasing-its-own-tail Red state vs Blue state sniping and Republican vs Democrat spatting that have gotten this country absolutely no where...

 

One day Congress woke up and discovered THIS IS AN ELECTION YEAR!

"OH NO!" Congresspersons of all ilks suddenly realized, "If the Post Office went forward with its plans to consolidate operations, then political mail-my ticket to reelection-might be jeopardized!"

Hence in December of 2011, Congress asked that the Post Office consolidate or close no postal facility prior to May 15, 2012, thereby protecting the sanctity of the primaries, caucuses and other political shenanigans taking place this spring.

Since the political season takes on new fervor and ferocity after the conventions in July and August, Congress again appealed to the USPS to forego closures after September 1.

The agreement left May 15 to August 31 as fair game for closures.

There is but one small fly in the ointment. The Post Office has announced loudly and often that it will be bankrupt by Labor Day if its plans to consolidate and close are not implemented immediately. But this agreement with Congress will prevent that from happening...unless there's a miracle.

Since the Post Office is prevented from downsizing by the very body that is the judge, jury and executioner, (and coincidentally the potential chief beneficiary of delaying closures)...this blatant conflict of interest may require Congress to give the USPS what it truly needs: a "too big to fail" monetary infusion at the eleventh hour. And maybe a reconsideration of that odious retirement requirement.

But if Congress lives up to its usual level of teetering on the brink of disaster long enough to give each of the 435 members ample opportunity to have his/her say in front of friendly TV cameras, then on August 31st-after the USPS has closed 2 small post offices in remote Alaska-then Congress will vote the Post Office a huge amount of money to tide it over until after the elections in November.

After all, the political mail must not be imperiled.

Remember: You read it here first. 

Dear Upset Customer,

I am truly sorry that your event announcement did not arrive until after your event. I am sure that not having your audience aware of the event until two days afterward did indeed have a dampening effect on your turnout.

I can only imagine how many dollars you lost at the door. And I don't wish to imagine your boss's reaction to a largely empty room.

If you need help with editing your resume, please let me know. I'd be glad to help.

In the meantime, let's look at my job log to see what went wrong.

Event day minus 10. You came to me with another rush project. I know you were on a budget-you're always on a budget-but opting to mail at Standard rate this time is penny wise and pound foolish. You certainly will save a lot of money in postage. Hurrah for that! Even a cheapskate like Scotty, intrepid engineer of the Starship Enterprise, would appreciate the effort. But what you'll save in postage you'll spend in extra time in the mail. You need warp drive. You won't get it.

It's always a time-versus-money equation at the post office. Ignore that basic rule-the Postal Prime Directive-at your peril. At this time when the Post Office is in flux, you should be super sensitive to the PPD.

I did warn you that the post office is cutting staff and closing facilities to trim costs. Smaller staff means longer delivery times. Delivery is less predictable than ever. Even First Class is taking 3 days; mailing at Standard when you have a short window of opportunity is like hugging an angry Klingon warrior. No good can ever come of it.

Yet somehow you thought your mail would be exempt from the Postal Prime Directive: More Postage, Faster Delivery; Less Postage, Slower Delivery. It was my first clue that you were suffering from Magical Thinking.

Oh yes, you still don't have your data or artwork ready.

E-Day minus 9. You want me to Guarantee (your word!) that your mail will arrive "in home" on a specific day. I can't and I won't. I'm not nuts, after all. Once we drop your mail at the post office we have no control of it. It drops into a black hole, a time warp, and who knows where or when it will come out on the other end.

Still no data, but you sent some of the artwork today. Now we're making modest progress.

E-Day minus 8. You want us to put a note on your mail piece requesting the Postmaster to deliver on a specific day. And we did. But will the Postmaster see your magical message? Probably not. Will he act on it? Nope, again. But it makes you feel better-like Bones' placebo makes a sick man feel healthier. It's more magical thinking.

You sent your data today. That's good. But you changed your artwork twice. That's bad.

E-Day minus 7. Today we had to fix your newest artwork-your third-again. It lacked an address panel and didn't allow for bleeds. And of course, it was full color, not the 2-color you had initially asked for and we had spec'd.

We're losing time in printing. But finally data is moving ahead. BTW, sending data at 5:00 last night is like sending it first thing today. Nothing happened overnight, but now we can get on it.

E-Day minus 6. Finally on press. We're waiting for materials to dry so we can start addressing. Your event is only 6 days away, and I have an intense feeling of dread. You refused again to let us mail at First Class because your budget won't allow it. My anxiety increases.

 E-Day minus 5. We've taken your mail to the post office today, but I fear you've lobbed the fatal photon torpedo at your own promotion. Your event is less than one week away and your announcements are just going out.

Mailing late is courting disaster under the best of circumstances. Mailing late and mailing at Standard is a lethal combination. Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock are down for the count on a hostile planet circling a star going super nova, and the transporter is out of commission. Yet somehow Kirk and Spock (with able assistance from Scotty and Bones) always seem to pull off a miraculous rescue at the end. Maybe the post office will do the same for you, I theorize hopefully.

Yikes! Now I'm using your Magical Thinking!

But no, it didn't happen. The Post Office delivered two days after your event-but still ahead of its performance standard.

I'm so sorry. We did everything we could to make your mailing a success. We advised, we counseled, we wheedled, but you remained adamant in your decisions. I guess this job was star-crossed from lift off.

We tried to pull off what no man has pulled off before. But the realities of the Postal Prime Directive, poorly prepared artwork, and an intransigent, ill-prepared client spelled doom. And that's all she wrote.

Next time, listen to your mailshop when they try to give you good advice.   

Rumors of email's demise are similarly misguided. Sure texting and social media are getting bigger, but email is projected to be a $1.6 billion dollar business in 2012. And $1.6 billion is nothing to sneeze at.

While SEO and social media currently make up 70% of online marketing budgets, 94% of online behavior is checking emails. So maybe the budget is out of whack.

Consider the numeric evidence. 35% of consumers spend more than 3 hours a day online. Of those hours, 94% are spent checking emails, searching for something (87%) or doing product research (78%). That leaves only a small fraction of time and attention for YouTube and the other social media venues that are getting so much attention...and budget.

So if you agree that your emails could use a bit of tweaking to maximize their potential, here are a few handy tips:

1. Message Congruency. Sure it's a big word, but it's so critical, it's item #1. Congruency (or lack of it) can make or break your email campaign. Congruency means to be sure that your message, your branding and your product are in alignment. And confirm that those elements are in sync with your customers' needs and wants.
 

2. Check your work before you deploy! Maybe I'm a snob, but emails with misspellings are an instant 

turnoff. Links that don't link frustrate me. Emails without a subject line are suspicious and get deleted immediately. And messages that are off-target completely make me reach reflexively to the "Block this Sender" icon.

3. Optimize your Results. Sending emails to dead mailboxes is a tragic waste of electrons. Work on your list quality regularly. Keep an eye on the basics: Check your "from" field and subject line. Be sure your subject line is compelling, provocative or illuminative of what follows. Monitor content to see if some material earns higher response rates; monitor launch frequency data as well as day of the week and time of day. There is magic in data if you but analyze-and act-on it.

4. Buy into Branding. A successful email doesn't have to get opened to have an impact. An email increases your brand awareness, whether opened or not. Recipients still see your brand name in their inbox, and that reminder may be enough to influence their next buying decision.

5. Repeat. Like any type of direct marketing, you need to repeat and repeat and repeat. There is value in 

repetition. Maybe your first message didn't land when the recipient had time or interest. But something will resonate eventually. If you but keep at it consistently. Quitters never win; winners never quit.

The stock market and hem lines may go up or down, the weather may be hot or hotter. But email is still the most frequent online activity your customers engage in. Plan for it. Prepare for it. Launch it. It will bring results.  

Marketing Take-away:

94% of the time consumers spend online is reading mail. If you're not in their in-box regularly you are missing a huge opportunity. If you need help is developing or deploying an effective email campaign, call Paul&Partners. We'll help make your email exceptional! 703-996-0800. 

Write it Right! 9 Tips to Creating Great Headlines

Headline writing is often excruciatingly difficult. That's why headline writers are respected more than any one else and paid more than anyone else in a newsroom. [No, wait! That's wrong. Let's start again.]


Headline writing is often excruciatingly difficult. [I got that part right].

No one notices if the headline works, ie if it synopsizes the story that follows and does so in a clever and succinct fashion. But when a headline fails, then everybody knows. Headline writers may toil away in anonymity, but they fail publically. [That about sums it up.]

Headlines are to articles and emails what teasers are to envelopes: The most challenging part of the entire package to write.

Whether appearing in print or email, headlines should entice people to read the material that follows. Here are a few hints to make that most important piece of writing work for you, and help you avoid the danger of public humiliation:

1. Keep it short. No more than 50 characters. We're all in a rush these days.

2. Keep it pertinent to the material that follows. Misleading people makes for angry (or disappointed) readers. No one likes to feel tricked.

3. Humor is great if you're up to the task, but humor isn't easy and can be misinterpreted.

4. Allow yourself time to write-and rewrite. It can take as long to get the subject line right as it took the write the rest of the material.

5. Personalize, if possible. Research shows that personalized subject lines increase open rates by up to 64%. Personalized copy within the email further increases readership.

6. Selling something? Set a deadline. Creating a sense of urgency or exclusivity works. 

7. Don't end up in a spam filter. Avoid FREE!!, Save $, Lowest Prices, URGENT!, or for that matter avoid !!!, $$$ or other spam-attracting shorthand. You know 'em when you see 'em. Don't ask for trouble.

8. Test. Not sure exactly what will work? Test! You may not have this luxury, but it's the perfect application for an A/B split test.

So what's a bad headline? How about Dewey Wins! Oops! Nuf' said about this famously wrong headline from 1948. This brings us to hint #9:

9. Be accurate. Check your facts before your launch. Don't jump the gun. Proof your work. And have a friend proof it, too. Two sets of eyes are always better than one. 

[But this article just did. I hope it was useful.]

Marketing Take-Away

1. Writing a great headline is hard work. Don't let anyone tell you anything else.
2. Be willing to write and rewrite to get what you need.
3. Test (ever heard that before?)

So you think you've got it hard?

The USPS is losing money at the astounding rate of about $23.3 million a day. A Day!


And this humungous loss comes after it encouraged employees to take early retirement...retired the once-ubiquitous blue curb-side mail boxes...closed about 7% of the post office locations around the country just two years ago...merged under-utilized facilities...hiked postage rates repeatedly...and begged (so far unsuccessfully) for 5-day-a-week delivery.

Whew. What's a beleaguered but beloved institution to do but whack even more?

Undertaking a task that even Tony Soprano would find gargantuan, the USPS is on the prowl for targets of opportunity to whack. And they are everywhere. Or so it seems.

Not only are there about 32,000 retail post offices in the US, but there are more than 70,000 "Approved Postal Providers" selling stamps and services. That's more than 100,000 postal facilities nationwide, or one for every 3100 Americans.

The USPS reports that more than 35% of the USPS retail revenue comes from expanded access locations-those "Approved Postal Providers"-such as grocery and drug stores, office supply and retail chains, self-serve kiosks, ATMs and-of course-the USPS's own website, usps.com.

Think about it. When you can buy your steaks and your stamps at the Safeway, the post office across the parking lot is rendered obsolete.

And that is where the USPS sits today: with a lot of obsolete but still neighborhood-centric facilities. These "unprofitable" facilities are the first obvious volunteers for elimination. The post office is looking for 3700 worthy candidates to deep six in the first wave of closures.

But like Tony Soprano, post office management is not without a heart. They understand that the post office is a place for neighbors to meet and catch up on juicy gossip. So in lieu of eliminating a local postal facility totally, they are creating "The Village Post Office" a scaled-down version of the late lamented real thing, as an alternative. The Village Post Offices would operate inside a local retailer, much like banks inside many newer grocery stores.

A USPS spokesperson explained "By working with third-party retailers, we're creating easier, more convenient access to our products and services when and where our customers want them. The Village Post Office will offer another way for us to meet our customers' needs."

I guess that's progress. Of a sort.

I'm still troubled by the idea of getting my antifreeze oil and prescriptions at the same store I get my antipasto and pretzels. I'll get used to the idea, I suppose. Eventually.

Marketing Take-Away

The world is changing. It isn't coming to an end. Don't panic. Keep reading this blog every week to see what the latest and greatest news is about the USPS.

Caution: Reading this article could make you sick, too!

Unless you've been living under an imposed news quarantine, you know that the USPS is in trouble. Big trouble.

The famously (and arguably) non-governmental organization must report to the government overlords of the Postal Regulatory Commission and the US Congress--(an arrangement that is enough to give even a healthy organization schizophrenia). But for the USPS—forever in a sick bed—the last few years have been especially trying.

Hemorrhaging money as mail volume dried up due in part to the ascendancy of email and exacerbated by the decline of the economy, the USPS has tried to persevere by cutting costs.

It pulled the once nearly-ubiquitous blue collection boxes from street corners. It closed under-performing post offices and consolidated processing centers. It let people go by the droves and urged others to take early retirement. It consolidated carrier routes so it would require fewer vehicles and fewer staff. It introduced expensive equipment that would extract financial punishment from unwitting mailers.

It became a shopping destination—while not rivaling the Mall of America, one could get stamps, stationery, gift wrap and boxes there. It even flirted with becoming a bank.

Nothing seemed to work.

And then the PRC and US Congress hammered it with a requirement to prefund retirement benefits. When the post office asked for emergency postal increases, its lawyers lost the argument on an obvious technicality they had not anticipated.

Late last week the USPS's sniffles turned to pneumonia when the USPS announced it had lost almost $10 billion this fiscal year—a staggering amount, and yet another historic high in a string of lamentable historic highs going back ultimately 10 years.

With mail volume predicted to fall farther (every 1% in decline equals $300 million of lost postal revenue) the post office's options are getting fewer.

Now the post office is left with the option of closing as many as 3600 mostly rural post offices and consolidating operations at 250 processing centers. Another 120,000 postal workers face layoff, and Saturday mail delivery may become a dim memory. Privatization is a possibility. As the negotiators say, "All options are on the table."

See whether your favorite post office is on the cutting block, click on the maps. Blue for soon-to-be-closed local post offices; red for regional processing centers.

For interactive maps, please visit here.

Then take an aspirin and be thankful you don't have the Postmaster General's job. It won't cure anything, but it might make you feel a bit better.

To view larger images, please click to open.

SOURCE: USPS. GRAPHIC: Emily Chow and Wilson Andrews -
The Washington Post. Published Sept. 29, 2011.