I’ve long suspected that the gazillions of spam messages I get every week are bogus. And now I have proof. Unadulterated, irrevocable proof. From the fingers of the perpetrator himself.
One day this week, after deleting all the fascinating offers for sexy new electric cigarettes, slinky lingerie and Viagra…and obliterating the ads inviting me to go back to school to learn to be a pharmaceutical assistant…and rigorously culling all the sweepstakes in which I have magically won a fortune…and momentarily grieving all my unknown relatives who have died in a foreign country leaving me filthy rich…in this jungle of craziness I finally found THE TRUTH.
It was an email promising me that I could make $138,000 a month on the internet. From home. Wearing my bunny slippers and sipping pina coladas. If I only had a home computer and a couple of hours a day to devote to this effort, I was in like Flynn.
And there it was. Above the colorful photo of the happy couple clutching handfuls of dollar bills, celebrating jubilantly before their blessed home computer was this copy in tiny, tiny type: “Phony picture and fake testimonials.”
I gasped as reality dawned. The evil genius who concocted this ad had spoken THE TRUTH!
I wonder if a tiny bit of conscience had pricked him, and he had wanted to warn off the gullible, but I doubt it. I suspect that he was in a hurry and he simply slipped up.
I hope I will never meet this creep who is preying on vulnerable people. But his five little words summed up so much of the email crap I get every day: Phony picture and fake testimonials.
Truer words were never typed.