Coming soon! To a mailbox near you! The next Great American Make-Over! Starring: The United States Post Office!

Not unlike the popular TV show in which a busload of contractors arrive at a home of a deserving-but-beleaguered "every family," intent on re-inventing the dilapidated structure (while sending the gob-struck family to Disney World for a week), the USPS is starting a dramatic make-over of its own. But without the diversionary trip to Disney.

Not unlike the TV show, the heroes in the rock-star bus do not show up until the last second, when the inhabitants are at its collective wits' end.

Not unlike the TV show, no one really knows what the outcome will be until later. And no one truly knows if folks will like what they get.

While not beset with awful diseases like these TV families, the USPS is seriously ailing and needs help fast.

Acknowledging that its current business model is unsustainable, USPS management cites huge declines in mail volume (thank you, internet and email)...as well as expensive-to-maintain, but probably-no-longer-necessary facilities...the folks who work (or don't have enough work to keep busy) in those underutilized facilities...and the dreaded Congressionally-mandated retirement pre-funding.

The cumulative effect is that the USPS has been saying if things are not resolved, they will be insolvent by September 30th.

Cue the bus. It's time for triage.
The USPS has manfully tried to forestall the current situation. Since 2006 it has closed 186 facilities, deep-sixed 1,500+ pieces of equipment, and decreased staff by more than 110,000. Result: $12 billion saved.

Good start, but not enough.

Realizing that it needs to save $3 billion (that's billion with a "B"!) a year, the USPS is considering closing or merging 250 more processing facilities, reducing equipment by another 50%, decreasing the transportation network, and eliminating up to 35,000 more jobs.

Ouch!

So what does this mean to those of us who mail to promote our businesses or non-profits, and hope to see mail in our mailboxes when we get home every night?

#1. Time delays. Fewer people and less equipment could mean delivery delays. The USPS Standards of Performance tell the tale:

Standards of Performance
	Today	Proposed
Priority	1-3 days	1-3 days
First Class	1-3 days	2-3 days
Periodicals	1-9 days	2-9 days
Standard Mail	3-10 days	3-10 days

OK, that's not too bad, all things considered. But what about...

#2. Postage increases. Count on it. Stay tuned.

#3. Closure of local post offices. Absolutely. Non-profitable locations—mostly in small towns—are already packing up.

#4. Procedural changes for mailhouses. No doubt. But exactly what and when is still TBD. Among the items on the table are:

• Reduced points of entry for dropshipped mail
• Rate changes in zone-based mail
• Schedule shuffling to meet required "in home" dates

So when will this take effect? September 30th is, after all, just days away.

Protocol requires that the USPS (1) put its proposal out for public comment. That happened on Thursday, Sept 15th. Then the USPS (2) asks the Postal Regulatory Commission (PRC) for approval. The PRC (3) considers, then proposes. A "reasonable amount of time must pass" before the USPS implements any nationwide service change (4).

Using the debt-ceiling debaters as a role model for bureaucratic efficiency, the USPS hopes to have its proposal presented to the PRC (step 2, above) by the end of October—one month into its insolvency.

The PRC is expected to respond by—well, we really don't know. But the USPS says it hopes to begin its consolidation and constriction efforts (step 4) by February or March of 2012. Only six months after its September 30th deadline for insolvency.

Adding more stress: The economy is showing few signs of recovery. The Super Committee (Debt Ceiling Part 2) isn't making headway yet. And the American public is understandably antsy.

Cue the bus! Disney World is looking better by the minute.

Bulking Up First Class Mail?

The USPS, which has been hemorrhaging money for a decade or longer, is desperate to keep mail in the mailstream. Beset by reduced volume (thank you, internet, email and the economy), rising manpower costs (thank you, ballooning retirement fund), an aging infrastructure and too many facilities, the USPS is creatively looking for ways to reduce cost and increase mail volume.

To that end, the USPS has offered postage-on-sale promotions for the last 2 years that have been widely popular among their target groups. For instance, most recently the USPS announced that business mailers using a QR code in July or August of 2011 could receive 3% off First Class or Standard postage rates.

And now here's the latest thinking: Mailing the 2nd ounce of First Class mail for the same price as the first ounce.

Not bad, eh?

Consider the price difference between First Class and Standard mail: Three letters mailing at Carrier Route Saturation Standard rate equal approximately the cost of mailing one letter at First Class. Hence, it would seem logical that encouraging First Class mail usage would be a no-brainer for the USPS.

Less work. More money.

Today a letter weighing up to one ounce costs 44 cents to mail; the 2nd ounce adds 20 cents. That means in a letter you can get approximately 4 sheets of paper (or 3 sheets and a reply envelope) for the first 44 cents; but go to one more sheet of paper—even a tiny little lift note—and you're staring at an additional 20 cents.

But at Standard you can mail up to 3.3 ounces for a much lower price. The weight differential is huge. In today's postal pricing structure, heavier packages almost always have to mail at Standard as the price difference is punitive.

But it's not just about money. It's about time. First Class is delivered in 2-3 days; Standard can take 2 weeks. If your hair is on fire because you botched your pre-event planning and your event is now two weeks away, you may have to mail at First Class. Cost be damned.

It happens all the time. Just ask me.

So if the USPS is willing to allow that 2nd ounce for the same price as the first ounce, maybe—just maybe—more mailers will use First Class. And maybe—just maybe—the USPS will benefit by higher mail volumes.

Best yet, because it is not a rate increase issue, the proposal doesn't require an Act of Congress or the Postal Regulatory Commission to approve it. Hence, it should be do-able with a minimum of fuss.

Making this happen would require very little—if any—additional cost to the post office. After all, it takes no more labor to process a heavier letter, and it requires no more machinery.

Now consider who wins—in addition to the post office:

1. Printers win. They could print more materials.
2. Paper companies win. They could sell more paper.
3. Mail houses win. They could process more mail.
4. Equipment manufacturers who serve the printers and mailers win.
5. Mailers win. They could mail more materials for the same price.

Who loses? I can't even think of a loser. It's a win/win all around.

The Post Office Board of Governors is considering the idea as I type. How long those considerations can take is TBD. If they give it a quick approval, it could be put into effect this Fall.

Just in time for the Year-in-Review family newsletters that go out at the Holidays.

Doing it By the Numbers...

If a picture is worth a thousand words, sometimes a few statistics can trigger a million thoughts. To wit:

52%. Percent of total US mail volume that is direct mail.

$45.2 billion. The sum US businesses spent on direct mail in 2010—a 3.1% increase over 2009.

$48 billion. The projected expenditure in the US for direct mail in 2011—a 5.8% increase over 2010.

149 million. The number of addresses to which the USPS delivers mail.

171 billion. The number of pieces of mail delivered by the USPS in 2010.

$5.2 billion. The estimated amount in fundraising driven by non-catalog direct mail in 2010.

13.5 billion. The number of catalogs mailed in 2009.

15% and 12%. The percentage of consumers receiving respectively a catalog or a letter/postcard/flyer who then made a purchase on the company's website.

28%. The additional sum spent by individuals who received a catalog compared to individuals who did not receive a catalog.

43%. The number of B to B campaigns that fall in the 5,000 to 50,000-piece range.

33%. The number of B to B campaigns that fall in the 1,000 to 5,000-piece range.

391,000. The average number of pieces of mail processed at the USPS per minute. That's 23 million per hour and 563 million every day, in case you're curious. And yes, I know this number doesn't tally with the 171 billion number quoted earlier. It's another example of how statisticians and their numbers lie.

41.5 million. The number of address changes in 2010.

40%. Estimated percentage of new movers who changed addresses for economic reasons in recent years.

98%. The percent of consumers who collect their mail every day.

77%. The percent of consumers who sort through their mail immediately upon arrival.

3.1 million. The number of individuals employed in the direct mail industry.

A penny. What I'm willing to pay for your thoughts after reading these statistics.

Postage goes on Sale this Summer. This time YOU can benefit.

Unlike the other USPS postage sale—the one that only the top 16 mailers in the US can qualify for—here's one with your name on it!

All you have to do is put a QR ("Quick Response") code on your direct mail, then drop that mail between July 1 and August 31. In turn the USPS will refund 3 percent of your postage.

"So what's this all about?" you ask, naturally suspicious of anyone who tells you the check is in the mail.

Well, %%dear reader%%, the USPS is getting hip to social media. And YOU can be the beneficiary!

Download a free QR reader to your smartphone, scan the code and enjoy!

The idea is to use a QR code which someone with a mobile device can scan, then land on your website where you can tell them more about your product or service.

A USPS spokesperson explained the official position thusly: "We recognize that the online world will continue to grow and thrive. [You bet, USPS. It's beating your butt!] So we want to make customers aware that mail can be an integral part of their communication (effort) and that campaigns... using direct mail are... effective."

Let's reiterate: To qualify, you have to mail at Standard or First Class, between July 1 and August 31. Letters and flats only, please, folks. But there's a lot you can do within those very loose guidelines.

Need ideas? Help? Call us! 703-996-0800 We'd be glad to help you take advantage of this deal.

Treats Coming to Your Mailbox Soon! Maybe.

"Care Packages" have been a staple of college life for generations. Similarly, "Goodie Bags" have warmed the cockles of many a soldier stationed far from home. These packages from home, lovingly filled with Mom's chocolate chip cookies, popcorn, and other treats fill the void of separation just a bit.

Now the USPS has glommed onto the "Care Package" concept in hopes that manufacturers will realize the benefit of mailing tempting samples to consumers hungry for a bit of good news in their mailboxes.

The "Samples Co-Op Box" concept will contain a mix of health and beauty aids and snack food products from multiple packaged goods companies. The companies—who no doubt have a "no competition in my box" agreement with the USPS—agree to share postage costs.

The USPS program is set to launch in early May in Charlotte NC and Pittsburgh PA, where about 200,000 consumers will become the guinea pigs for this new postal initiative.

After delivery, the USPS will distribute surveys to consumers to gauge their response to the program—and to the products they received. The test will be considered a success if the manufacturers see an increase in purchases or brand awareness, and if the USPS gets good feedback from the consumers. Analysis of delivery costs, per-box cost and effect on brand awareness as well as retail sales data will take several months to complete.

If the results are favorable, (and what's not to love about receiving free chocolate chip cookies in the mail?) the USPS could do further tests to determine optimum price points or could roll out nationally without further testing. TBD.

The post office does not expect to create revenue from the test. But a permanent program could make millions of dollars for the hard-strapped postal service which lost $8.5B in 2010 and has already lost more than $1.1B in the first two months of 2011.

Product sampling is big business, generating $4B a year in the US alone. The USPS wants to stake its claim on part of that lucrative enterprise and simultaneously chip away at its debt.

Free cookies in my mailbox? Bring 'em on, I say.

I'll take mine with macadamia nuts, please.

Diamonds are Forever, and now so is Green...

Following up the success of the first "Forever Stamps"—a First Class stamp that can be bought at today's prices and used well, forever—the USPS has just launched another.

First in the USPS's Social Awareness series, each of the 16 stamps on the sheet offers low and no-cost tips to save energy and natural resources. And the predominant color is green. Naturally.

For instance, the stamps suggest using reusable shopping bags... fixing water leaks... using energy efficient light bulbs... maintaining tire pressure... switching off lights when not in use.

You know the drill. You've heard it before. These are the simple things that your parents tried to tell you about responsible behavior. Now the USPS is telling you, too.

Nag. Nag. Nag. Maybe you should listen this time.

But beyond the obvious value of preserving life on earth, there may be a financial benefit to using these stamps. Actuaries and Uncle Scrooge, take note!

Consider this: If you send 200 Christmas cards each year and you figure you've still got 30 Christmases ahead of you, that's 6,000 stamps you'll be licking in December. Maybe you mail 20 birthday cards, bills and miscellaneous whatnots each month. 20 x 12 months in a year x 30 years. That's another 7200 stamps over 30 years. Total: 13,200 First Class stamps in your future.

Buy in bulk today and pay just 44 cents forever. So even if rates go up, you're protecting your position at 44 cents.

No more postal inflation. Future rate hikes be damned! For a measly $5808 investment today you've protected yourself against future First Class postage rate increases.

Buy today and save enough $$$ in 50 years to put your great grandchildren through college! Or at least buy them a beer after class.

Now if the USPS simply invests that $5808 at 8%, in 64 years it will be worth big bucks! The mind boggles with possibilities. It's like buying futures when you can actually see into the future. It's so good it oughta be illegal.

The mind also boggles with possibilities of what will happen to our planet if more of us don't recycle, conserve water and use less energy. $4 a gallon for gas is just the tip of the iceberg. Oh yes, and the real icebergs—and the polar bears, walruses and seals who depend on them—will soon be just a bittersweet memory, relegated to the History Channel.

So consider this stamp a winning trifecta. Save the planet, just a bit, save some $$ in the bargain, and maybe most important of all, get ego-boosting "I told you so" points for reminding your less-than-aware friends about the importance of conserving our natural resources.

Way to go, Post Office!

Is this Great or What? The post office launches a new rate calculator service.

I mean, really, how many times have you pondered the post office's intricate postage rate charts to try to ascertain which class of mail would be best?

A dozen? Two dozen?

And how many times have you given up in distress and frustration, trapped between automation and non-auto rates, zone charts, piece-and-pound calculations, advertising vs editorial copy ratios, and other incomprehensible mumbo jumbo?

A dozen? Two dozen?

Mmhmm. I betcha it's more. A lot more.

Well, the post office feels your pain. And in an effort that's both noble and generous (and maybe just a tad self-serving) to help ease your distress, the USPS has come up with a neat little electronic gizmo to help you calculate your optimal postage rate.

If enough of us use this new tool, it could relieve the stress of certain customer service postal workers I've talked to. When I couldn't find the answers I needed recently, I called them. These poor souls fumbled through the same charts that had me foiled, but then it got worse. Much worse. They started reading the postal fine print. (Note to my Dear Reader: Never ever read postal fine print. It will drive you mad. Stark, raving mad!) Anyway, confusion gave way to obfuscation. But they labored valiantly onward, fighting their way through the regulations for 5 or 10 minutes until they arrived at an answer. Not THE answer, perhaps, but an answer none the same.

The journey was exhausting. For both of us. I was so relieved the search was over, I'd have accepted any answer short of my 401K balance. I tell you, there's got to be a special place in heaven for these folks who have to do this all day long.

Anyway, the Business Calculator on the Postal Explorer website lets you calculate prices for all shapes and classes of mail, both domestic and international. Simply go to pe.usps.com and then click on the Business Calculator in the upper left.

Not sure what's what? Need a dictionary to understand the inside-the-post office lingo? The site provides a navigation tool to give you definitions and links to other references. (Warning: This "easy to access" information varies from easy to not-so-much. Approach with caution.)

Not sure what you need? Calculate several rates and classes and compare the results. Simply hit the "Show History" button to have all the calculations you've just made shown in a nifty side-by-side format for easy scanning.

Not sure where the nearest post office is? Keep clicking. You'll find its street address. You'll even find its hours of operation.

So there you have it. Automation may force yet another group of postal workers into an early, well-deserved retirement. But the stress migraines we communally got from trying to ascertain the best postage rates should be a thing of the past.

And is that great or what!

USPS HITS A HOME RUN: Outside-the-box website is a winner

The folks at the Post Office have asked me to say something nice about them for a change. So I’ve found an underreported USPS program that is so good, it’s a slow pitch right over home plate. A gimme.

First, the pre-game warm-up. There have always been people who prey on others. The internet has simply made it easier for the bad guys to grow their business; they can now approach thousands of people simultaneously.

On the other hand, professional standards for bad guys are declining. They don’t have to be skilled liars or actors anymore as everything is transacted at long-distance and anonymously. They don’t even have to be passable spellers! Any doofus can get in the act today. Fagin must be spinning in his grave.

Rules? You gotta be kidding. There are no rules when you deal with these guys. They know that a fool is born every second, (yes, everything is speeding up today), so it’s simply a matter of numbers. When they send out millions of spurious offers they know that some sucker will bite.

Got it? Let the games begin.

Identity theft by cyber thief is the fastest growing crime in the US, which—if you’ve seen the way people drive on the Beltway—amazingly surpasses even road rage.

The methods the bad guys use to extract personal information are myriad and ingenious. Consider my emails from just last week. I won the lottery in 15 countries; well-heeled relatives who have left me vast amounts money are keeling over at an alarming rate; “Reverend Bob” has asked me to print flyers and then ship them to an orphanage in Amsterdam (there are no printers in Europe?); banks and credit cards that I don’t even use have kindly alerted me to serious problems in long-forgotten accounts (more senior moments?); and dozens of exotic Russian hotties lust after me (I wonder if my husband knows!).

I’ve been invited to earn my doctorate on line without having to open a book at least 10 times (learning by osmosis?); and if earning a doctorate isn’t my thing, then photography school (snicker) might be. My credit score is changing on an almost-hourly basis; and a long-lost cousin is stuck overseas and needs me to wire some funds so she can get home again.

The one thing that all these opportunities have in common is I have to give my bank account information to start the transaction. The bad guys are betting on my greed, lust, fear or other baser instinct to trump common sense.

The bad guys are PhDs of the dark side, although occasionally they work the sunny side of the street, too when they depend on my curiosity (my changing credit score) or compassion (my stranded cousin) to elicit my response. It’s just human nature, after all.

But now here’s the game-changer. The USPS and the USPS Postal Inspection Service have stepped up the plate. They, together with federal, state and local government agencies and consumer protection groups, have launched the web site www.deliveringtrust.com.

A nicely packaged site, it is easy for the prey (that’s you and me) to see how the Top 10 scams work. You can watch a video or download the script (a good place for parental “talking points” to begin). And while Kevin Spacey and Meryl Streep won’t fear for their jobs, the actors get the point across. Best yet for a government site, it is occasionally amusing.

A minor quibble: the test, ostensibly for children, is probably over the heads of all but the junior Mensa crowd. It’s still a good place for parents to start talking to the kids, though, and I bet that many parents will learn something from taking it, too.

OK, USPS. You hit a home run with this one.

Now please tell me how to stop their barrage of e-mails.